Tonight as I built and enjoy a fire, it struck me how much a fire is like a relationship. What started out with a small spark, became something bigger, seemingly self-sufficient and yet very delicate. There is something primal and collective and exciting about fire. Fire means survival, warmth, comfort, light on a cold dark night and ultimately connection.
We become so excited to see the spark become flame, emitting light and warmth. We want more! So we drop a large log on the tender young fire without realizing it isn't strong enough to sustain the large log. As a result, the entire flame is snuffed out, with only a few tiny coals remaining. We stare dazed wondering what just happened. Our smile of joy becomes a grimace of confusion. Slowly the realization dawns on us how fragile this flame truly is.
Our enthusiasm can sometimes cloud our judgment and our ability to resist piling it all on at one time. This "piling it all on" is all the more apparent if we've been in the darkness for awhile. For once we experience the Flame, our excitement is as though we discovered fire for the first time! Reality tempers our enthusiasm by allowing us to see clearly, to discern...to realize the fire is not going to survive without our forethought.
A long lasting and healthy fire is one built with small twigs of special moments as well as large logs of major events. Tinder of differing perspectives, moods and opinions help us to fuel the fire from within, without which we could never know the true height and warmth of the Flames. Add to the fuel the mysterious spark that only the Universe know from whence it comes. Breathe the wind of love, passion, kindness, gentleness upon the flames. When rains threaten to dampen the fire, raise an umbrella or a tarp to protect the embers. Use choice woods, making sure that it is well seasoned. With care place each piece on the fire with deliberation as though building an alter and not simply throwing out the trash.
If built properly with care, this Fire will burn warmly and sustain for a long time. Once all consuming, now burning bright and true and steady this Fire with Flames of Love dance well into the night; at dawn leave in its place, embers of promise lying in wait for yet another night....