Life is an adventure!

Open your sail and allow the wind to carry you toward your dreams...

Heroes and Zeroes

Recently I participated in a discussion about 24-year old Chris McCandless. Chris spent 113 days alone in the Alaskan wilderness, surviving on what he could forage and hunt. In September 1992, he was found dead in an abandoned bus after succumbing to starvation.

Some view him as a self-indulgent fool who died needlessly. Some view him as a reckless nut with a death wish. Others view his death as the result of boneheaded moves and lack of knowledge or experience. Still others view him an inspirational adventurer daring to put himself in a challenging situation, despite the odds or risks.

Chris' journey into the Alaskan wilderness was the final act which started two years prior. After a lifetime of being defined by his family and being told what he should do by society, Chris longed to connect with something real that stripped away the facades, illusions and lies of life. His desire was to find who he was without anything/anyone else in the way. Right after graduating college, he dropped out of society and broke ties with his family in order to explore/discover himself.

Sure he may have taken it to the extreme and obviously paid the ultimate price. But getting out of our comfort zones, exploring, discovery, growing...that's what life's about! We only get one trip around this planet. For better or worse, we owe to ourselves to give it our all! I'd rather die doing something I love, pursuing my passions instead of living complacently, "what iffing" and regretting my life at the end. That to me is far more tragic.

Although Chris died alone in the wilderness, I don't believe he was foolhardy. He had read and studied and earnestly wanted to live off the land, in order to test and challenge himself. It's unfortunate that he didn't realize that there was a well-trod hunting trail several miles in the opposite direction from the swollen river that blocked his way out of the wilderness and back to civilization. It's tragic that this lack of information cost him his life. A small turn in his "luck" and he would have tramped back out of the wild...

So our discussion hinged around the question: Was Chris McCandless a hero or a zero?

Playing the Devil's Advocate, I posed this argument:

Captain Scott and his party starved to death on their way back from the South Pole in 1912. Should we ascribe their deaths as the result of "bonehead" moves"? How prepared can we really be for something we've never done? How much knowledge can we have until we are in a situation to realize how much we are lacking?

Sometimes all we can do is the best we can do. Sometimes it means taking the best that we have and are at any given time and putting it up for the challenge. If we wait until we are 100% prepared, we won't start at all!

That being said, i TOTALLY believe that if we are to venture into wilderness areas, whether on land or sea, we should be as prepared and ready as much as possible. To jump out of a plane without a parachute is suicide. To people on the ground, the flimsy parachute may look woefully inadequate; however, to the person at the end of the harness, the sturdy parachute is more than enough.

Perspective.

Sometimes, the best lessons learned are as we go along. The "Father of Modern Day Sea Kayaking", Derek Hutchinson, describes himself in his books as someone who likes the challenge of figuring things out for himself. There's a fine line we walk between an accident waiting to happen and wisdom learned through experience. How do we gain experience without challenge? How do we start a challenge without experience? It's a Catch-22 that has faced every explorer since dawn immemorial.

Many people have experienced similar conundrums while trying to start careers. I remember being frustrated at one time or another with not having experience and yet not given the chance to gain experience. “Give me a chance!” my soul would plead!

I think all of us at one time or another (particularly when we were younger) have stretched our vision way past our skill or experience. And we've lived to tell about it while safely seated around a campfire or pub stool, reveling with our friends over a pint! What is the difference between "success" and "failure"? Is the difference hinged on whether we live or die? Or is it simply enough that we tried, no matter what the results or outcomes were?

Hutchinson says, "The sea provides the unfamiliar, the unworn, and the unexpected. Facing the challenge of the sea causes the paddler to journey into the genuine unknown -- the unknown and untried areas of his soul". 

Chris himself wrote that he was waging a spiritual revolution to "kill the false being within"...and although he used the word "kill", it doesn't mean he had a death wish. I am sure Chris counted the ultimate “cost" towards his freedom as being worth it. For him, the wilderness provided the proving ground of the untried areas of his soul. I believe in his mind, if he died trying to live his dream of freedom, then that would be better than living a life trapped by lies. I believe for Chris, success was not measured whether he lived or died, success was measured by the fact that he tried. So although he may be declared a "zero" for dying, he is a "hero" for trying. 

The same may be said of Captain Scott...
The same may be said of any of us....

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances 
and yet will not take the initiative 
to change their situation 
because they are conditioned to a life 
of security, conformity, and conservatism, 
all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, 
but in reality nothing is more dangerous 
to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. 
The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. 
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, 
and hence there is no greater joy 
than to have an endlessly changing horizon, 
for each day to have a new and different sun."
~ Chris McCandless ~
(February 12, 1968 – mid-August, 1992)


Post Script:
Contrary to Jon Krakauer's book "Into the Wild" and Sean Penn's movie of the same name, Chris had a road map, it was part of the inventory taken by the coroner. Krakauer has been criticized for listing ALL the items in Chris' possession except for the map. Krakauer has not published an updated inventory nor an updated cause of death. Why would Krakauer do that? Sensationalism? Dramatic stories sell more after all. 

Who knows. The fact is Chris had a map. Maybe it wasn't entirely up to date. Given the wilderness area he was in, things can change quickly. Also given his state of dealing with progressively weakening physical and mental facilities, who knows how much of the obvious he would have missed. 

Also contrary to Krakauer/Penn, Chris did not burn his documents. Again, was this book/movie sensationalism for dramatic effect? His backpack was found in the bus along with his wallet containing $300 and his social security card, birth certificate, driver’s license, health card, voter identification, and three library cards. From all appearances and within his last postcard to Wayne, he had all intentions of returning to society.

I object to Hollywood or society sensationalizing (exploiting?) such a young man. Chris may have been an idealist, but I don't believe he attempted to romanticize his life; it took Hollywood to do that. All facts leading up to Chris' death point to a young man who, although may not have prepared as best as he could have to the nth degree, he still was well-equipped for attempting his adventure. It is unfortunate, that most likely Chris' journey would have been left untold and unpublished if had he lived. In the end, Chris determined that living and sharing his experience was what he wanted to do. One of the last things Chris wrote was in paraphrase to a passage by Tolstoy, "Unshared happiness is not happiness".

My desire for jumping into this "hero or zero" discussion is to emphasize that everything is a matter of perspective. Our perspective is only as good as the information we are given. Whether we are the ones looking at the ones on the journey or whether we are the one on the journey ourselves...

In the words of a friend of mine quoting Teddy Roosevelt, "It is always better to dare mighty things than to take rank with those who know neither victory nor defeat." I agree with my friend and hope Chris isn't an inspiration to those who shouldn't be inspired. The wilderness is an unforgiving place. In the words of Anthony Doerr, "Anyone who has spent a few nights in a tent during a storm can tell you: The world doesn't care all that much if you live or die." Life is a great teacher and experience teaches us to be prepared. I for one enjoy surviving my adventures in and of themselves, but also so I can do other adventures!

----------------------

In 2006 Ron Lamonthe followed the steps of Chris and made a documentary along the way. His findings and film can be found on his website: The Call of the Wild: Into the Wild Debunked.

Video: Birthright (Sean Mullens)

This video is so inspirational and moving...I was absolutely moved to tears. We have no excuse for not seeking out, taking hold of and being who we're meant to be. THAT is our birthright!

Michael Mitchell (the kayaker): "The draw to the water is a birthright. You can transcend that actual place where you're able to dance, to be fluid, to be able to be so in the moment, to be natural, to be your God-given self so to speak. To be what you're meant to be."

Commentary by the director, Sean Mullens



Birthright is the"Grand Prize Winner" of the Vancouver Festival of Ocean Films:
Birthright is a film about the struggle and inspired triumph of the human spirit. At age seventeen, Michael Mitchell became a quadriplegic as a result of a surfing accident. This film documents Michael’s daily journey from wheelchair to water’s edge, where surfing a hybrid surf kayak enables him to transcend his physical limitations and to be his most natural self.

Yet this film is more that a documentary of Michael’s struggles and achievements. It speaks directly to us, the viewer, and asks us to remember why we love the ocean and it’s environment and how being on the water makes us feel. Birthright will grab your emotions through some very powerful cinematography and not let them go until the final cut.

The music starts out with synth-sounding cricket heartbeat (my description)...but it grows and expands like a beautiful sunrise over the water. Music: "Broken Arrow" from the CD Into the Blue Again by The Album Leaf.

The Seven Laws of the Sea

Related to "Invictus", is this wonderful meditation of the day...

The Seven Laws of the Sea
 "...I am the Master of my fate and the Captain of my soul" – Invictus by William Ernest Henley
  1. Know your ship and its captain: Get to know yourself, honestly and without blame. Decide what you want to change. 
  2. Respect your crew: Understand (and learn to use) the power of your subconscious mind and its faithful obedience to your commands. 
  3. Chart a clear destination: Think big and choose a bold course. 
  4. Check your cargo: Toss out unwanted baggage or stowaways. Maintain the vessel - Exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and keep learning. 
  5. Watch the winds: Life throws us unexpected challenges that require attention - but can also bring rich rewards. 
  6. Stay in command: Without a Captain calling the shots, any ship will end up on the rocks rather than in the port of your dreams

Poem: Invictus


I'm truly inspired by this poem on so many different levels. 

The title itself, “Invictus” is Latin for “unconquerable.” I've learned over the years, and I try to keep in mind when I struggle, that when life kicks you in the gut, get back up and kick life’s butt!!

The poet, William Ernest Henley, had the unconquerable spirit which is evident in his poem of inspiration. When he was 12, Henley developed tuberculosis in the bone and had to have his leg amputated to the knee. The doctors told him he would have to have the other one amputated if he were to survive. Henley told the docs that they were full of hogwash and let them amputate just one leg. He ended up keeping the other and lived to lead an active life with one leg and had a successful career as a poet and literary critic. Henley was truly the captain of his soul!

Compass Check: In what ways am I/am I not captain of my soul?


Invictus
~ William Ernest Henley ~

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

Book Review: "Rowing Across the Atlantic"


I really can't say enough about this book...it is awesome!! Click on the picture on the left to buy it from Amazon.

At age 36, Roz Savage found herself dissatisfied with life, in a dead end job and an unraveling marriage. One night she wrote two different versions of her own obituary -- the one that she wanted and the one that she was heading for. They were very different. She realized that if she carried on as she was, she wasn't going to end up with the life she wanted.

Roz decided to reinvent and define herself without any outside influence. She wanted to step way outside her comfort zone to learn how to stand on her own. So despite being a non-athlete and exhibiting a lack of seamanship, Roz became the only solo female entrant in the grueling 2005 Atlantic Rowing Race. Her voyage of 2,935 miles took 104 days, the last 24 of which were in total communication black-out after her sat-phone malfunctioned.

Her rowing adventure is balanced with realism and humor, peril and perseverance, sharing personal demons, fears, frailties as well as her hopes and dreams. Her Atlantic journey was not an easy one. In the middle of the ocean, she faced her fears, insecurities and doubt. But one oar-stroke at a time, she finally reached the other side feeling triumphant and confident.

This is not to say we ALL have to row across the Pacific or even the Atlantic. But we ALL eventually come to the "ocean of our fear" and when we do, we have a decision to make. We have a choice about how we want to live our life...of what kind of obituary is written. Roz's story is inspiration to living a life according to our own design...realizing we DO have the power to create and live our own life how we want.

Roz's method of using the two obituaries as a catalyst, is the opposite of the "bucket list". Bucket lists are things we want to do before we die; obituaries are reflections of the lives we lived. Since all of us have the same destination of death and the grave, it's what we do between now and then that makes life worthwhile.

Over the years, I have often picked up the paper and browsed the obituaries. And I've never really given them much thought until now. I used to think that obituaries were simply an announcement of someone's passing. But what I never realized, until I read Roz's book, is that obituaries are not passive announcements; and despite our being dead when they are published, obituaries are not out of our control. We all have the ability to write our obituary, by living a life how we want, one day at a time...right now, today.

I don't want a loved one or worse yet, a stranger, to write my obituary. I want to write my own! I endeavor to live a life that honors how I want to be remembered. As I stated in my profile: In the long run, I want to live long and healthy and die with the nectar of love, adventure and peace running down my chin. I want to take hold of the tiger's tail and run in circles as she attempts to devour me. I want to dive deeply, love passionately and die knowing I gave it my all because it's all I had to give. In the end, that is what will matter to me.

There is a line from the lyrics "Black Masks and Gasoline" by Rise Against that says "Simply because you can breathe, doesn't mean you're alive, or that you really live"...so many people are simply breathing and wondering where their life is. Life is what YOU make it! I'm breathing it in til death forces me to exhale...


The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks - part 2

In light of my post, "The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks", I was asked about the source of this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, "The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks".

It is from Emerson's "Self-Reliance" essay (1841), which I've excerpt here:
Fear never but you shall be consistent in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. For of one will, the actions will be harmonious, however unlike they seem. These varieties are lost sight of when seen at a little distance, at a little height of thought. One tendency unites them all. The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. This is only microscopic criticism. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it will straighten itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly, will justify you now...**

When a sailboat is sailing, it cannot sail straight into the wind. In order to get to its destination, it must first sail to the right, then to the left, and so on, making its diagonal pattern across the waves until in the end, it reaches its final terminus. So too, this is a fitting metaphor for life and a reminder to us that any journey in life is not a straight line.Balance is such a sticky issue and so difficult to maintain.The key is discovering what works well for us. Keep balanced, keep sailing, keep tacking...it's all we can do.

** Link to read the version of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance" essay.