And Then What?

A recent discussion with friends prompted my memory about this anecdotal story containing simple yet profound wisdom. I'm posting here for food for thought:

Early one afternoon an American tourist, who was vacationing in a tiny village in Mexico, saw a tiny fishing boat landing on shore. As the fisherman carried from the boat a small string fish, the American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the fisherman.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The fisherman explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the fisherman.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? "And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

"Well," said the fisherman, "Isn't that what I'm doing already?"

And the moral of this story is this: Know where you're going in life. You may already be there!

New Blog: Hot Off the Grid

Check out my new "Hot Off the Grid" blog within a blog and join me in my discoveries, challenges, joys and adventures of living off the grid! Here's to adventures wherever they may lead!

P.S. Many thanks to everyone for your encouragement and well wishes :)

Out of the Comfort Zone

Over the past year, I've been going through my own personal growth and evolution, working on some core issues which involves unlearning old habits and relearning new ones. There never is a transition from one to the other without a learning curve and a struggle to let go of one in order to grasp the other.

I've nearly always associated that struggle to mean I was doing something wrong or I was outright failing.

Recently it hit me: If the only way to grow/change/heal/evolve is to step outside our comfort zone, then struggling and/or being uncomfortable is a sign of success, NOT of failure!

As Roz Savage so keenly observed during her solo rowing adventure across the Atlantic Ocean, "Stepping outside your comfort zone is supposed to feel uncomfortable because we’re in new and unfamiliar territory. Being uncomfortable is a sign of success, NOT of failure! So if we are uncomfortably outside our comfort zones, then than means we are growing!!! And THAT is cause for celebration!" (modified from a passage in Roz Savage's "Rowing the Atlantic").

As many people, I've been programmed to think that if I'm struggling, then I'm failing. Struggling is a sign I am exerting great effort and exercising new muscles, whether physically or emotionally or mentally.

Consider this: A caterpillar struggles against his self-created & self-imposed cocoon. Only by struggling does he gain the strength to become a butterfly. He NEEDS the time alone to create, to be, to grow. This creation is a delicate process hidden from view. We aren't privy to the mystery. Even further, we can't interfere, otherwise we will stunt or inhibit the butterfly's growth.

Likewise with the butterfly, we ought to treat our own (as well as each other's) growth process with patience and respect. After all: Life is a journey, not a destination!

It's hard to accept that struggle is good. It's hard not to swoop in and try to provide a buffer for the pain, our own as well as our loved ones.

Only by surrendering & not resisting, is there life. Only through struggle and pain is there birth -- ask every baby who's ever been born.

The key is not to focus on or be intimidated by the struggle. That brings suffering. In the words of May Sarton, "Without darkness, nothing comes to birth; as without light, nothing flowers". ~ Mary Sarton

Artist Andy Goldsworthy offers this poignant reminder, "The real work is the change".

Here's to joy in the journey and to adventures, wherever they may lead...

Poverty Island Bound!

Well the weekend weather forecast is looking picture perfect for this time of year, so I'm making another attempt at kayaking to Poverty & Summer Islands!

In 2005, my friend Chuck "Pathfinder" Hayden of Fortune Bay Expedition Team placed a geocache on Poverty Island. Since no one has logged the cache since 2007, I'm making a run for his hidden treasure! Check out details of his geocache here.

Poverty Island Expedition Plan

Sat, Sept 25:

• Launch from Fairport (mainland), first destination Summer Island (2.39 miles). 
• Paddle along shoreline of Summer Island (approx 3.2 miles) 
• Set course for Poverty Island (1.04 miles).
• Set up camp at Poverty Island.

Sun, Sept 26:

• Explore Poverty Island.
• Locate Chuck's cache!
• Set course for Summer Island.
• Set course and land at Fairport (mainland).

Close-up. Map credit: Chuck Hayden

Overall view.

These maps will give you an idea of my route (click map for larger version), the location of Poverty Island and Chuck’s cache...both are located about 7 miles offshore from Garden Peninsula (SE of Escanaba) in the Upper Peninsula, Michigan.

Join me on my Poverty Island voyage by visiting my new page, "My Adventures"! My Adventure page includes interactive live SPOT tracking so that you can track my progress which is updated automatically every 10 minutes. (There is also a link on the page that will allow you to see a larger map.)

Please note: The tracks currently on the page reflect my beta testing the system tonight in order to provide data on the map so you can get an idea of how it works. Once I embark for Poverty Island (or any future expeditions), the map will update accordingly.

Here's to adventures wherever they may lead!

"Adventure is not outside a person; it is within"

In the words of George Eliot, "Adventure is not outside a person; it is within".

When we go through an experience or event -- sometimes we seek it out, at other times it seeks us out -- outer events spark a reaction from within and we need to look inside to explore what’s going on. THAT is the adventure! At those moments, we look fear, confusion and pain in the face; and by looking more deeply we find courage, clarity and strength hidden within ourselves. We find wisdom in knowledge acquired through experience.

This journey is not easy nor instantaneous; however, when we immerse ourselves in an experience, we take the lessons learned and are able to apply the wisdom again in the future. The lessons learned in the "classroom", we apply in practical situations and the experience carries us through other adventures. Over time, we build a sound foundation of tried and true methods, skills, knowledge and wisdom. Instead of floundering in the dark at the end of our rope, we can reach into our backpack of well-honed equipment and face anything with the confidence and assurance that we have what it takes to make it through.

Bill Merchant of Iditasport fame says, "We go into the Alaskan back country (wilderness) to find cracks in ourselves. We go back a year later to see if we've done anything about them".

My amended version is, "We go through experience to find weaknesses in ourselves. We go through them again to see if we've done anything about them". Every person on his way to becoming a hero (see my post "Heroes and Zeroes"), goes through trial and error (becomes a zero). Those who combine preparation and experience, as well as combine wisdom with fortitude have the ability to pick themselves up after temporary set-backs and failures in order to stand victoriously at the top of the mountain of their choosing.

In the words of Don Gardner (Arctic explorer and mountaineer): "We learn most from our suffering and the changes and the challenges on these trips. You don't learn much if everything goes great. Or if you are not scared shitless by bears. You don't learn much on the groovy little trips you sign up with to see some nice scenery. You need to be challenged to see your character and soul. Some of your scarier and better parts. The scariest places have always been when I have been by myself on these long trips. My learning grounds. Those are the places that I learn most -- the scariest, suffering spots. We learn by our confusion. That fear of dying -- trying to let go of that fear. The terror that this is such a scary place".

Compass check:

• In which ways are YOU going through the wilderness of experience?
• In which ways are you being challenged?
• What are you doing about the challenges?
• How are you trying to let go of that fear?

Here's to joy in the journey and to adventures wherever they may lead!

Crabs In A Basket

All the countries of the world decide to hold a contest to see who has the best crabs.

Each country gathers on a neutral beach toting a large wooden crate full of their finest crabs to the international affair. Each country appoints a dutiful guard whose sole responsibility is to carefully watch over the crate, ensuring the prized crabs don’t escape.

First up to be judged is the United States. The American guard protectively minds the precious crate as he pulls a metal key from his pocket and unlatches the lock and lifts the heavy chains shrouding the box. As he slowly opens the lid to the wooden box, countless crab claws are already clipping at the top of the box to escape. The guard quickly slams

The judge is impressed, but moves on to the next country, France. The Parisian guard is also standing close to his wooden crate of Grade A French crabs. The judge asks him to remove the lid and the French guard unlatches his crate, following the judge’s request. Like the U.S. guard, the French watchmen pulls off the lid of the box and quickly slams it down as the crabs try to escape from their wooden prison.

The judge nods approvingly and continues down the row of countries with similar reactions from all the countries’ top-notch crab-guards, until he arrives at his last wooden crate, the Japanese.

The judge notices the lid is already off the box and the Japanese guard is yards away, nonchalantly smoking a cigarette, hardly paying attention to the crabs crawling around in the open crate.

The judge approaches the guard with surprise, “Aren’t you worried about your crabs escaping?”

“No”, the guard replies and laughs. “We have the best crabs in the world! They won’t let each other break free. When one almost escapes, another one clips him with his claw and pulls him back in”.

This phenomenon is called "crab mentality" and by definition describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase, “If I can't have it, neither can you”.

At times we all may feel a slight pang of envy toward someone for an opportunity or accomplishment that we would desire for ourselves. This is normal.

However, "crab mentality" rears its hideous evil head when someone uses this positive gain against another negatively. It is one thing to feel a jealous twinge; it is quite another thing to pull someone down from reaching their dreams and goals, simply because you cannot reach your own. After all, haven't we all heard the time old adage, "misery loves company?"

Why is that? Because the other crabs would rather that other crabs NOT find their own freedom. The other crabs live in the illusion that "misery loves company". When they're alone in their misery, then they HAVE to do something about it. As long as they are surrounded by others as miserable as themselves, they don't have to do a damn thing about it. They're all in the same boat, loving every moment of it!

As we change, evolve and grow, our friends and families may feel threatened, and actually strive to hold us back.

People with “crab mentality” are critics, full of resentment, anger and jealousy. Therefore, your climb to the top may be lonely at times, but the payoff will be worth it all.

I believe “crab mentality” people get "offended" when others are authentically themselves because they know they aren't being authentic. Crabs feel threatened by the inference that they HAVE to be authentic too. We all have the choice of whether to be authentic or not. Don't allow anyone to pull you back into the basket of the illusion!

Individual crabs could easily escape the confines of any barrel or basket IF they were left to their devices; but the crabs below them pull them back down to the bottom of the barrel in a pathological attack. When the collective spirit of a people is broken, they are no longer a threat. Their changed psychological state will not allow them to let anyone rise above the base level condition.

How do you crawl out of the basket? Begin where you are! Not even God could expect you to begin where you’re not :)

Again. Begin where you are.

If babies waited until they could walk to begin walking they may never fall down right? Use that and extend it to our life today...there’s our first valuable lesson:  We’re supposed to be clumsy as we try new things. With practice, we gain closer to the realization of our ideal, our dreams. That is not to say we won’t stumble or struggle. I speak from experience: Nearly 43 years ago I learned how to walk, and yet today i STILL trip! Does that mean I’m a failure as a walker? Do I stop walking just because I stumbled? No!! When I stumble, I dust myself off and keep on walking!

Zero Trash!

Thanks to Bay Area Recycling for Charities , my "carbon footprint" just got a whole lot smaller!!! Today I'm happy to say, I kicked Waste Management permanently to the curb :) Since I recycle and/or compost everything, I now have ZERO trash!!! WOO HOO!!!

Many people have asked me how I went to zero trash. Well, as they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" :)

For nearly 20 years, I've been recycling in one way or another. Last summer, I built a compose pile for kitchen scraps. Also last summer, I migrated to cloth bags instead of plastic shopping bags. The grocery store I shop sells them for .99 or exchanges them free with points earned for shopping. I've traded points for approximately 30 bags and given bags to friends. The bags are washable and guaranteed for life. If they fray or wear out, the store will replace them for free.

This past spring when I noticed that the only thing in my trash was plastic bags (like from bread, produce, etc) or non-recyclable plastics, I was pissed that I was paying $15/month for trash service for essentially picking up what was non-recyclable materials. I got to really thinking about all that plastic in the landfill and it completely disturbed me!!

Another thing I thought about is how much we pay other people to take care of our trash. All we merely do is pay someone else for the convenience of not being responsible with our own trash. If we bag everything up and pay a company $15/month to pick it up, the trash may disappear from our curb, but it doesn't disappear from the environment. We pay $15/month to clean our trash, but also to clean our consciences. Something to think about...

Technically everything is recyclable. The issue is whether there is a market for it. Enter companies like Bay Area Recycling which not only endorses and educates that ALL trash is 100% recyclable or compostable, they also take plastic bags, films and other "non recyclable" items.

The major hurdle for trashing the trash and being 100% recycling/composting, is the issue of menstruation. As women know, one of the greatest monthly costs and trash factor is tampons or pads.

Two years ago I switched from tampons to a Diva Cup which is a hygienic reusable cup. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner!! I've never ever been thrilled about "that time of the month". When I started using the Diva Cup, it was like I reclaimed my body from marketers, manufacturers and society telling me what to do with my body. For millenia women have dealt healthily with this monthly phenomenon. It's taken "modern man" to distort the view of our natural process and taught us that it's dirty or somehow needs to be sanitized away.

As you can see, I'm quite passionate about this! I can't tell you how truly liberating it's been. Being able to camp without fret about "packing out" used feminine products is a joy!! I no longer have to plan my camping or kayak expeditions around "that time"!!

Another bonus to the Diva Cup is absolutely NO cramps!! My body feels healthier and my >ahem< female area is pH balanced because it is no longer being leeched of natural moisture or absorbing harmful bleaches and chemicals from feminine products.

Email me for more info if you're interested on specific feedback, cost, ect.

Overall my journey to ZERO trash has been a little at a time, looking at MY own accountability regarding the trash I generated. I started shopping smarter (not buying products in excessive packaging, bringing my own bags, carrying things out without bags).

Certainly $15 a month is not going to make or break me. But adding more trash to our environment WILL eventually make or break the planet. No matter your religious persuasion or philosophical bent, Earth is the ONLY planet which is inhabitable for mankind. As Ghandi said, "Be the change you want in the world". I am making my world 100% trash free!! :)

My First Koan

A man sought wise counsel, so he sailed across the roughest seas, crossed the harshest desert and climbed the highest mountain. After considerable struggle, effort and time, the man finally reached the wiseman. 

The wiseman asked, "What is your question?"  

The man asked, "Who am I?"  

The wiseman responded, "Who do you think you are?" 

 The man answered, "I don't know." 

The wiseman replied, "Then that is who you are."

This is a Koan* I wrote today. What does this Koan say to you? Who do YOU think you are?

Many people, myself included, at one time or another spend considerable struggle, effort and time (and money) to try to find out who they are from someone else.

Truth is, we don't need to go to anyone else for that answer. The answer lies within ourselves, if we are willing to be honest with ourself, and willing to leave behind that which no longer is beneficial or good for our lives, if we are courageous to reach for shores yet not seen, brave to charter unknown territory.

The fact is, we change everyday. HOW we change is entirely up to us! What we do today affects our direction for tomorrow...


* A Koan is a story, dialogue, question, or statement; the meaning of which cannot be understood by rational thinking, yet it may be accessible by intuition. (A widely known Koan is, "Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?")

Review: Casio G'zOne Brigade

Well, after using the Casio G'zOne Brigade for over a week, running it through it's paces and subjecting it to various tests, I've come to the conclusion that although this phone IS hardy enough to go with me where ever I want, it simply does not deliver the features I need/want. It doesn't matter that the phone is out in the elements with me, if it's unusable, it's no better than having a dainty Smartphone with me. At least I can hard case protect the Smartphone from the elements and have a phone I can actually use! There's nothing I can do to the Brigade to make it more functional. It is what it is. And I need more out of a phone.

Thankfully AmazonWireless offers 30-day satisfaction guarantee on all phone products. My experience with obtaining the RMA was seamless. I am very happy with the "try it for 30-days" policy. Be on the look-out for my next preview: HTC Droid Incredible! :)

PROS:

• Tough construction.
• Solid feel.
• Waterproof.
• Thermal tolerant.
• Great speaker/mic.
• Camera flash doubles as awesome flashlight!

CONS:

• The internet browser sucks! It hardly renders HTML that well, let alone dynamic pages like Facebook. And you can absolutely forget about Youtube!! It will NOT render Youtube homepage, let alone stream ANY Youtube video. Trying to reach favorites takes 2 clicks, plus a third to select the favorite. Oh, and the most annoying thing about the browser, if you receive a call or email, it closes the browser (without an option to ignore inbound call or email). And every time the browser closes, it opens back up to the Home page instead of your last viewed page (I admit to being spoiled by that home page feature with Smartphones). The browser is a step backward by at least 5 years, reminding me of my old Nextel phone in 2003 which was the first phone I had with internet capabilities. The browser on the Brigade is every bit as chunky and clumsy. The only way you could be impressed with this browser is if you never had used a computer in your life and never had been on the internet. Strong words, but I calls it like I sees it :} Strike one!
• Not able to sync calendar. Verizon has their propietary "Office Kit", but it took me 2hrs just to get my laptop to install the driver for the USB data cable. I'm IT-saavy, so I can't imagine how long it would have taken a non-tech person. Apart from accessing my email, syncing my calendar is top priority for me. If I'm not able to know when/where I'm supposed to be, I might as well never leave the house! And if I never leave the house, the Brigade is worthless. Strike two!
• Clumsy email interface. It takes 2 clicks to reach my inbox and another click to read my email. That's 3 clicks total, for those of you keeping score at home. My Blackberry Pearl took only 2 clicks. Another thing about Verizon email interface, is that it doesn't give me the option to delete email only off my handheld device. Which means this is web interface email (direct to Yahoo, Gmail, etc), not client base email (not true POP3). I want the option to read/delete an email on my handheld and then allow the email to download later onto my laptop so I can take a closer look or answer it. Strike three!
• Not able to data transfer without jumping through hoops. Like I said, took me 2hrs to get my laptop to recognize my phone through data cable. Despite the Brigade having a "My Documents" feature it won't read or render Word documents or even Text files. What the bloody good is "My Documents" feature if it's not usable?!
• The keys are not responsive, having to press twice. It's like the keyboard "sleeps" and then you have to press once to awaken and then another time to execute the number. This was very evident while listening and deleting vmail. Quite frustrating to say the least! 
• Very limited customization of phone. You can change the menu layout (grid, list, icon) and change desktop picture, but that's it. What you see is what you get. For phone of this price range, I would expect MUCH more personalization ability.

RATINGS:

• Construction: 10/10
• Mic/sound quality: 10/10
• Signal strength : 8/10 (dropped several calls even when sitting still in my home)
• Web interface: 1/10 - nearly non-existent.
• Email: 2/10
• Calendar use: 0/10
• Overall rating: 5/10

Morning Dew

I like the imagery and inspiration in this meditation of the day...thought I'd share it here.

Morning Dew

The world awakens each day from its nightly slumber, transformed by a sparkling layer of morning dew on the grass, on flower petals and leaves, on cars and car windows. These glistening droplets last only a little while, an integral part of what imbues the early morning with its aura of magic. If we sleep too late, we miss the magnificent display of sunlight playing upon an infinite amount of tiny crystal balls. To step onto the dew-covered grass is to anoint our feet with a form of water that comes only once a day for a short time, a rarefied gift of the night air that will soon evaporate in the full light of the sun. If we inhale slowly and consciously enough, it is almost as if we are drinking in this magical elixir formed in the boundary between darkness and light.

In one myth, morning dew is believed to be tears from heaven, and in another, the droplets are poured from the vessel of the goddess of dawn. When we see the earth draped with these shimmering drops, it is easy to imagine fairies bathing in the water, or a sky god weeping from a longing to be closer to his beloved earth goddess. Seeing the sparkling beauty of the earth emerging from darkness, we may understand this longing in terms of our own gratitude; how blessed we are to be here.

Perhaps heaven really does long to be here on earth, and perhaps that is why we are here—as conduits between the divine and the earthbound. As we drink the morning dew in with our eyes, our skin, our breath, it is easy to imagine that it really is a magical potion, a gift from heaven, a reminder of our true purpose, and a daily opportunity to be transformed. 


Source credits: Daily Om

Preview: Casio G'zOne Brigade (waterproof phone!)

While most people are opting for smaller, thinner, lighter phones, I'm opting for a waterproof, thermal-tolerant phone. In other words, a phone that isn't afraid to be out in the elements with me! I don't often use my phone while out kayaking or photographing in winter, but it's good know that if I want to, I can.

I can't tell you how excited I am that I'm able to have such a phone. The journey towards this moment in time has spanned several years...

Back in 2005 when I was on Sprint's network, I looked (lusted?) at the Casio G'zOne Rock, but it was only available on the Verizon network. (Don't even get me started on proprietary phone contracts! Cell phones should be like a computer or any other device or appliance. If I paid for it, I should be able to choose my carrier or ISP.) But that's a whole other topic for another day!

Fast forward a few years and I had moved to Traverse City in Summer 2008. At that point Verizon service was inadequate in this area (as well as Sprint), so I switched from Sprint to Alltel as my carrier of choice. It seemed my dream of owning a waterproof phone was evaporating before my very eyes.

But wait! The story doesn't end there!!

Fast forward another 18 months to October 2009 when Alltel service is converted to Verizon (after Verizon bought Alltel in June 2008). Many corporate buy-outs cause more problems for the consumer, and who knows whether this acquisition is a good thing or not. All I know is that my dream of owning a waterproof phone was resurrected, like Neptune emerging from the Deep. Sure it may be just a phone, but I've learned that patience brings great reward for those who willing to wait :)  Since I had a relatively new plan with Alltel, I had to put in my time in order to qualify for an upgrade.

Yesterday, June 1st was that date! WOO HOO!!

Today I placed an order for the Casio G'zOne Brigade. The Brigade is a rugged and handsome phone that promises not cry if dropped on land or splashed by the sea. It meets Military Specifications 810F standards for "Water, Shock & Dust Resistance, Immersion, Vibration, Salt Fog, Humidity, Solar Radiation, Altitude, Low and High Temperature Storage".  Although "Solar Radiation" is just Military lingo for "sunshine", it's good to know that if I'm subjected to too much Sunshine, my phone can handle the exposure and I don't have to slather SPF-50 on it! ;)

The phone is completely waterproof...not splash proof, or water resistant, but WATERPROOF. This is my most favorite feature since I'm always outside in, on, under or near the water -- whether of the liquid or frozen variety. Sure I have a waterproof "otter case" for my cell phone when I'm paddling in my kayak. But if I really ever needed/wanted to use my phone, I'd be afraid of opening the otter case while on the water. The Brigade will find a nice place up front with me in my PFD pocket. No more allocating it to where I can't reach it, let alone use it! (Although The Brigade IS waterproof, it won't float. So this puppy will be attached to a leash to keep it out of Davey's Locker!)

Apart from The Brigade being waterproof, it will handle temps from 14°F to 160°F! I am much more inclined to be located toward the low end of the temperature spectrum. But if I find myself standing on the surface of the sun, I'm comforted knowing I can phone home!

I don't know how often or whether I will actually call from my kayak or while I'm out hip-deep in snow on a winter photo shoot, but I really like knowing that I have the option to use my phone in all sorts of weather conditions. Since I pay for a full month of service, I want a full month of potential usage no matter where I am located or what conditions I find myself.

My new phone is scheduled to arrive on June 7th. I'll post a follow-up entry after I actually use the phone. I purchased it online through Amazon Wireless Beta website which offered the best online deal, even beating Verizon by over a hundred bucks!

So call me up on a week or two and see how I'm fairing with the Brigade. If I'm out snorkeling, I'll even answer it while underwater to test the submersibility :)

Until then, here's to Adventures where ever they may lead us!

Slip-sliding Away

Over the weekend, I heard this essay on Public Radio International's "Living On Earth". What beautiful poetry and imagery! I'll allow the author, Mark Seth Lender, to speak so you can discover what he is describing :) If you'd like to hear Mark reading his essay, you can listen here.

Slip-sliding Away

by Mark Seth Lender

On the far side of the pond, bubbles Braille the surface, cerulean blue, soft as morning stars. Half light, the air is still, the lilies rustle. Their posted buds stirred by a breeze of water sway like channel markers. There just off shore someone breaking fast, leisurely. Jaws worked in whisper, reaching across the silence there. Then rolls and dips and disappears.

A beaver lodge stands nearby, they built this pond, but that was no beaver. The texture of its fur, the shape and the way it moved. The smoothness of the dive and how the surface rose and closed—a navel of water and what it brings to mind. That surface, opaque as skin, blind to what lies beneath. Patience! Patience!

The crease of a wake, grainy light, the water speaks. A head appears, oiled, sleek, coat like silk all umber and burnt ochre. Whiskers, dark eyes, fearless that broad, boy cat face so close, and my heart leaps—I, too, am fearless, I am soaring. I see what I was sure I would never see again. And now again.

The river otter alone in having had his long look turns away. Now head, now back, now tail slipping beneath. Some yards off he reappears, looks again, dives again, resurfaces. This time he has a bullfrog. It dangles from his mouth as if forgotten. His gaze still fixed on me, more intense than curious as if he has as much to tell as to learn. For the last time he slides below leaving a silence so profound, neither speech nor written word can break it.

Mark Seth Lender is a self-taught writer and nature photographer. His syndicated column, Salt Marsh Diary, reaches 100,000 Connecticut households through newspapers and the publications of  various conservation organizations. 

Heroes and Zeroes

Recently I participated in a discussion about 24-year old Chris McCandless. Chris spent 113 days alone in the Alaskan wilderness, surviving on what he could forage and hunt. In September 1992, he was found dead in an abandoned bus after succumbing to starvation.

Some view him as a self-indulgent fool who died needlessly. Some view him as a reckless nut with a death wish. Others view his death as the result of boneheaded moves and lack of knowledge or experience. Still others view him an inspirational adventurer daring to put himself in a challenging situation, despite the odds or risks.

Chris' journey into the Alaskan wilderness was the final act which started two years prior. After a lifetime of being defined by his family and being told what he should do by society, Chris longed to connect with something real that stripped away the facades, illusions and lies of life. His desire was to find who he was without anything/anyone else in the way. Right after graduating college, he dropped out of society and broke ties with his family in order to explore/discover himself.

Sure he may have taken it to the extreme and obviously paid the ultimate price. But getting out of our comfort zones, exploring, discovery, growing...that's what life's about! We only get one trip around this planet. For better or worse, we owe to ourselves to give it our all! I'd rather die doing something I love, pursuing my passions instead of living complacently, "what iffing" and regretting my life at the end. That to me is far more tragic.

Although Chris died alone in the wilderness, I don't believe he was foolhardy. He had read and studied and earnestly wanted to live off the land, in order to test and challenge himself. It's unfortunate that he didn't realize that there was a well-trod hunting trail several miles in the opposite direction from the swollen river that blocked his way out of the wilderness and back to civilization. It's tragic that this lack of information cost him his life. A small turn in his "luck" and he would have tramped back out of the wild...

So our discussion hinged around the question: Was Chris McCandless a hero or a zero?

Playing the Devil's Advocate, I posed this argument:

Captain Scott and his party starved to death on their way back from the South Pole in 1912. Should we ascribe their deaths as the result of "bonehead" moves"? How prepared can we really be for something we've never done? How much knowledge can we have until we are in a situation to realize how much we are lacking?

Sometimes all we can do is the best we can do. Sometimes it means taking the best that we have and are at any given time and putting it up for the challenge. If we wait until we are 100% prepared, we won't start at all!

That being said, i TOTALLY believe that if we are to venture into wilderness areas, whether on land or sea, we should be as prepared and ready as much as possible. To jump out of a plane without a parachute is suicide. To people on the ground, the flimsy parachute may look woefully inadequate; however, to the person at the end of the harness, the sturdy parachute is more than enough.

Perspective.

Sometimes, the best lessons learned are as we go along. The "Father of Modern Day Sea Kayaking", Derek Hutchinson, describes himself in his books as someone who likes the challenge of figuring things out for himself. There's a fine line we walk between an accident waiting to happen and wisdom learned through experience. How do we gain experience without challenge? How do we start a challenge without experience? It's a Catch-22 that has faced every explorer since dawn immemorial.

Many people have experienced similar conundrums while trying to start careers. I remember being frustrated at one time or another with not having experience and yet not given the chance to gain experience. “Give me a chance!” my soul would plead!

I think all of us at one time or another (particularly when we were younger) have stretched our vision way past our skill or experience. And we've lived to tell about it while safely seated around a campfire or pub stool, reveling with our friends over a pint! What is the difference between "success" and "failure"? Is the difference hinged on whether we live or die? Or is it simply enough that we tried, no matter what the results or outcomes were?

Hutchinson says, "The sea provides the unfamiliar, the unworn, and the unexpected. Facing the challenge of the sea causes the paddler to journey into the genuine unknown -- the unknown and untried areas of his soul". 

Chris himself wrote that he was waging a spiritual revolution to "kill the false being within"...and although he used the word "kill", it doesn't mean he had a death wish. I am sure Chris counted the ultimate “cost" towards his freedom as being worth it. For him, the wilderness provided the proving ground of the untried areas of his soul. I believe in his mind, if he died trying to live his dream of freedom, then that would be better than living a life trapped by lies. I believe for Chris, success was not measured whether he lived or died, success was measured by the fact that he tried. So although he may be declared a "zero" for dying, he is a "hero" for trying. 

The same may be said of Captain Scott...
The same may be said of any of us....

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances 
and yet will not take the initiative 
to change their situation 
because they are conditioned to a life 
of security, conformity, and conservatism, 
all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, 
but in reality nothing is more dangerous 
to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. 
The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. 
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, 
and hence there is no greater joy 
than to have an endlessly changing horizon, 
for each day to have a new and different sun."

~ Chris McCandless ~

(February 12, 1968 – mid-August, 1992)

Post Script:

Contrary to Jon Krakauer's book "Into the Wild" and Sean Penn's movie of the same name, Chris had a road map, it was part of the inventory taken by the coroner. Krakauer has been criticized for listing ALL the items in Chris' possession except for the map. Krakauer has not published an updated inventory nor an updated cause of death. Why would Krakauer do that? Sensationalism? Dramatic stories sell more after all. 

Who knows. The fact is Chris had a map. Maybe it wasn't entirely up to date. Given the wilderness area he was in, things can change quickly. Also given his state of dealing with progressively weakening physical and mental facilities, who knows how much of the obvious he would have missed. 

Also contrary to Krakauer/Penn, Chris did not burn his documents. Again, was this book/movie sensationalism for dramatic effect? His backpack was found in the bus along with his wallet containing $300 and his social security card, birth certificate, driver’s license, health card, voter identification, and three library cards. From all appearances and within his last postcard to Wayne, he had all intentions of returning to society.

I object to Hollywood or society sensationalizing (exploiting?) such a young man. Chris may have been an idealist, but I don't believe he attempted to romanticize his life; it took Hollywood to do that. All facts leading up to Chris' death point to a young man who, although may not have prepared as best as he could have to the nth degree, he still was well-equipped for attempting his adventure. It is unfortunate, that most likely Chris' journey would have been left untold and unpublished if had he lived. In the end, Chris determined that living and sharing his experience was what he wanted to do. One of the last things Chris wrote was in paraphrase to a passage by Tolstoy, "Unshared happiness is not happiness".

My desire for jumping into this "hero or zero" discussion is to emphasize that everything is a matter of perspective. Our perspective is only as good as the information we are given. Whether we are the ones looking at the ones on the journey or whether we are the one on the journey ourselves...

In the words of a friend of mine quoting Teddy Roosevelt, "It is always better to dare mighty things than to take rank with those who know neither victory nor defeat." I agree with my friend and hope Chris isn't an inspiration to those who shouldn't be inspired. The wilderness is an unforgiving place. In the words of Anthony Doerr, "Anyone who has spent a few nights in a tent during a storm can tell you: The world doesn't care all that much if you live or die." Life is a great teacher and experience teaches us to be prepared. I for one enjoy surviving my adventures in and of themselves, but also so I can do other adventures!

----------------------

In 2006 Ron Lamonthe followed the steps of Chris and made a documentary along the way. His findings and film can be found on his website: The Call of the Wild: Into the Wild Debunked.

Video: Birthright (Sean Mullens)

This video is so inspirational and moving...I was absolutely moved to tears. We have no excuse for not seeking out, taking hold of and being who we're meant to be. THAT is our birthright!

Michael Mitchell (the kayaker): "The draw to the water is a birthright. You can transcend that actual place where you're able to dance, to be fluid, to be able to be so in the moment, to be natural, to be your God-given self so to speak. To be what you're meant to be."

Commentary by the director, Sean Mullens



Birthright is the"Grand Prize Winner" of the Vancouver Festival of Ocean Films:
Birthright is a film about the struggle and inspired triumph of the human spirit. At age seventeen, Michael Mitchell became a quadriplegic as a result of a surfing accident. This film documents Michael’s daily journey from wheelchair to water’s edge, where surfing a hybrid surf kayak enables him to transcend his physical limitations and to be his most natural self.

Yet this film is more that a documentary of Michael’s struggles and achievements. It speaks directly to us, the viewer, and asks us to remember why we love the ocean and it’s environment and how being on the water makes us feel. Birthright will grab your emotions through some very powerful cinematography and not let them go until the final cut.

The music starts out with synth-sounding cricket heartbeat (my description)...but it grows and expands like a beautiful sunrise over the water. Music: "Broken Arrow" from the CD Into the Blue Again by The Album Leaf.

The Seven Laws of the Sea

Related to "Invictus", is this wonderful meditation of the day...

The Seven Laws of the Sea

 "...I am the Master of my fate and the Captain of my soul" – Invictus by William Ernest Henley

1. Know your ship and its captain: Get to know yourself, honestly and without blame. Decide what you want to change. 
2. Respect your crew: Understand (and learn to use) the power of your subconscious mind and its faithful obedience to your commands. 
3. Chart a clear destination: Think big and choose a bold course. 
4. Check your cargo: Toss out unwanted baggage or stowaways. Maintain the vessel - Exercise, eat right, get enough sleep and keep learning. 
5. Watch the winds: Life throws us unexpected challenges that require attention - but can also bring rich rewards. 
6. Stay in command: Without a Captain calling the shots, any ship will end up on the rocks rather than in the port of your dreams

Poem: Invictus

I'm truly inspired by this poem on so many different levels. 

The title itself, “Invictus” is Latin for “unconquerable.” I've learned over the years, and I try to keep in mind when I struggle, that when life kicks you in the gut, get back up and kick life’s butt!!

The poet, William Ernest Henley, had the unconquerable spirit which is evident in his poem of inspiration. When he was 12, Henley developed tuberculosis in the bone and had to have his leg amputated to the knee. The doctors told him he would have to have the other one amputated if he were to survive. Henley told the docs that they were full of hogwash and let them amputate just one leg. He ended up keeping the other and lived to lead an active life with one leg and had a successful career as a poet and literary critic. Henley was truly the captain of his soul!

Compass Check: In what ways am I/am I not captain of my soul?

Invictus

~ William Ernest Henley ~

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul. 

Book Review: "Rowing Across the Atlantic"

I really can't say enough about this book...it is awesome!! Click on the picture on the left to buy it from Amazon.

At age 36, Roz Savage found herself dissatisfied with life, in a dead end job and an unraveling marriage. One night she wrote two different versions of her own obituary -- the one that she wanted and the one that she was heading for. They were very different. She realized that if she carried on as she was, she wasn't going to end up with the life she wanted.

Roz decided to reinvent and define herself without any outside influence. She wanted to step way outside her comfort zone to learn how to stand on her own. So despite being a non-athlete and exhibiting a lack of seamanship, Roz became the only solo female entrant in the grueling 2005 Atlantic Rowing Race. Her voyage of 2,935 miles took 104 days, the last 24 of which were in total communication black-out after her sat-phone malfunctioned.

Her rowing adventure is balanced with realism and humor, peril and perseverance, sharing personal demons, fears, frailties as well as her hopes and dreams. Her Atlantic journey was not an easy one. In the middle of the ocean, she faced her fears, insecurities and doubt. But one oar-stroke at a time, she finally reached the other side feeling triumphant and confident.

This is not to say we ALL have to row across the Pacific or even the Atlantic. But we ALL eventually come to the "ocean of our fear" and when we do, we have a decision to make. We have a choice about how we want to live our life...of what kind of obituary is written. Roz's story is inspiration to living a life according to our own design...realizing we DO have the power to create and live our own life how we want.

Roz's method of using the two obituaries as a catalyst, is the opposite of the "bucket list". Bucket lists are things we want to do before we die; obituaries are reflections of the lives we lived. Since all of us have the same destination of death and the grave, it's what we do between now and then that makes life worthwhile.

Over the years, I have often picked up the paper and browsed the obituaries. And I've never really given them much thought until now. I used to think that obituaries were simply an announcement of someone's passing. But what I never realized, until I read Roz's book, is that obituaries are not passive announcements; and despite our being dead when they are published, obituaries are not out of our control. We all have the ability to write our obituary, by living a life how we want, one day at a time...right now, today.

I don't want a loved one or worse yet, a stranger, to write my obituary. I want to write my own! I endeavor to live a life that honors how I want to be remembered. As I stated in my profile: In the long run, I want to live long and healthy and die with the nectar of love, adventure and peace running down my chin. I want to take hold of the tiger's tail and run in circles as she attempts to devour me. I want to dive deeply, love passionately and die knowing I gave it my all because it's all I had to give. In the end, that is what will matter to me.

There is a line from the lyrics "Black Masks and Gasoline" by Rise Against that says "Simply because you can breathe, doesn't mean you're alive, or that you really live"...so many people are simply breathing and wondering where their life is. Life is what YOU make it! I'm breathing it in til death forces me to exhale...

The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks - part 2

In light of my post, "The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks", I was asked about the source of this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, "The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks".

It is from Emerson's "Self-Reliance" essay (1841), which I've excerpt here:

Fear never but you shall be consistent in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. For of one will, the actions will be harmonious, however unlike they seem. These varieties are lost sight of when seen at a little distance, at a little height of thought. One tendency unites them all. The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. This is only microscopic criticism. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it will straighten itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly, will justify you now...**

When a sailboat is sailing, it cannot sail straight into the wind. In order to get to its destination, it must first sail to the right, then to the left, and so on, making its diagonal pattern across the waves until in the end, it reaches its final terminus. So too, this is a fitting metaphor for life and a reminder to us that any journey in life is not a straight line.Balance is such a sticky issue and so difficult to maintain.The key is discovering what works well for us. Keep balanced, keep sailing, keep tacking...it's all we can do.

** Link to read the version of Ralph Waldo Emerson's "Self-Reliance" essay.

Video: Roz Savage - Why I'm rowing across the Pacific

If this video doesn't inspire you, seriously I would check your pulse!! ;)

This is not to say we ALL have to row across the Pacific or even the Atlantic. But we ALL eventually come to the "ocean of our fear" and when we do, we have a decision to make.

I don't know about you, but I'm jumping in...

Stepping outside your comfort zone is supposed to feel uncomfortable because we’re in new and unfamiliar territory. Being uncomfortable is a sign of success, NOT of failure! So if we are uncomfortably outside our comfort zones, then than means we are growing!!! And THAT is cause for celebration! (modified from a passage in Roz Savage's "Rowing the Atlantic")

Lessons From the Petoskey Stone

The other day as I was working on my beach clearing winter debris, I found a Petoskey Stone. So I picked it up, admired it's beautiful hexagonal pattern and put it in my pocket like I usually do, and then continued my work.

Then the thought hit me: this isn't JUST a stone, this is a TIME MACHINE! This stone is the fossilized coral remains of Hexagonaria Percarinata which, now extinct, existed 350 million years ago!!

Humbled and awed, I took the stone out of my pocket and sat down. I rolled the stone in my fingers thinking of the small animals who once lived in a coral colony in the water literally in front of my cottage. The only thing which remains of their life, is this pretty stone. The native Ojibwe tribe originally named this stone, "Petosegay", meaning "rising sun" or "rays of dawn".

It hit me, I mean REALLY hit me: In the best case scenario, we live only for 100 years and only about 70 years if we're average. Wrap your mind around the fact of how truly short of a period of time that is in relation to the rest of history......

[dramatic pause]

We are but a quick heartbeat, a short breath in relation to ALL of history. And yet, each of us has the capacity and ability to live as though the WHOLE WORLD was created JUST for us!!

The question is: What are WE going to leave behind as "proof" that we were ever here?

The small creatures which once resided in this ancient coral colony did not have self-awareness. The only thing they could leave behind is "recycled" calcium and other minerals from their environment. They created their home from materials around them. As time went by, former marine animals died, and others were born and lived out their lives on the calcium carbonate remains of their ancestors. Eventually, these homes were frozen in time immemorial.

Unlike the Petoskey Stone, we do have self-awareness.

Self-awareness is both a blessing and a curse because it brings with it freedom. And with freedom is responsibility. And with responsibility, there is fear.

Are we going to focus our time on things like bank accounts, careers, houses, etc?

Or are we going to focus our time on things like relationships (with others as well as our self), love, spirituality, connection etc?

One path is material.

One is immaterial.

One path is limited by resource.

The other path is limitless.

The choice is ours how we want to live.

I'm keeping the Petoskey Stone in my pocket for a while to remind me of which path I choose.

The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks

Looking out my window, the beautiful Northern Michigan spring reminds me of change. Change. The simple word conjures many thoughts and images. Seasons change and so does life. Both remind me to prepare and encourage me to adapt.

How do I prepare and adapt? How do I know which direction to go in order to reach my goals?

A little over a year ago, after I was laid off from a very stressful job. The reality of being unemployed in today’s economy threatened to bury me under the weight of financial and emotional debris. Instead of sinking, I took the opportunity to assess where I wanted to be in 5 years or 10.

When I first moved to Traverse City almost two years ago, I was unemployed living out of my tent and having a blast kayaking and camping and gloriously living life as it came at me. I moved here not for a job or a relationship. I moved here because I wanted a change of scenery. I wanted to explore some place different for the sake of discovering more about myself.

Today, I’m actively and wonderfully engaged with a dynamic and wonderful company, surrounded by like-minded talented individuals who have a passion to make a difference.

What is my point?

My point is this: We have to be willing to explore options, be ready to adapt and be willing to change course at a moment’s notice. If we don't we can become lost or shipwrecked.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks". We can stay the course in familiar waters, or we can embark in new directions to seek new horizons. The voyage is not always the straightest course, but the destination is always reached if we are diligent and flexible.

Discovering what works or doesn't work and developing new ways of thinking, allows me to reach my destinations successfully. Thinking outside the box, being willing to try new things, considering different possibilities, brainstorming — all are tacks allowing me to move ever forward toward the direction of my dreams!

Love is Real: Lesson from The Velveteen Rabbit

"What is REAL?" the Velveteen Rabbit asked the Skin Horse one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit .

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. But once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Taking the example from The Velveteen Rabbit: Being Real sometimes hurts. The alternative to being real, however, is unimaginable.

Being Loved sometimes hurts. Although we do our utmost not to deliberately hurt the ones we love, the truth is, we inadvertently hurt the ones we love (and they hurt us), because our hearts are exposed the most to one another. What greater way is there to communicate and to exist, than to live wide openly and authentically Real with one another?

• I'm not afraid of being in imperfect shape...for that means I'm not left on the shelf, untouched and unharmed.

• I'm not afraid of my ears being lopsided and my eyes drooping by affectionate touches.

• I'm not afraid of the seams of my edges fraying from so much caressing.

• I'm not afraid of going bald because I was rubbed too vigorously (take that ANY way you want!).

• I'm not afraid of my stuffing being enthusiastically squeezed out of me.

• I want to endure all that Love is for the sake of being Real...the good days and bad.

• I want to expose my sunshine as well as my darkness.

• I want to express joy and as well as sorrow, courage and fear, peace and anxiety.

• I want to be challenged when I'm wrong, encouraged when I'm scared and lovingly laughed at when I'm being ridiculous.

• I want to be comforted and played with.

• I want to be cherished and treasured.

• I want to be needed and wanted and liked and loved.

• I want to be seen, heard, felt and tasted.

• I want to experience the full spectrum of Love, the entire meaning of what it means to be Real.

• I always want the kind of love that makes me Real...

• I want to be Real...

In the words of Melissa Etheridge, "I want to live my life pursuing all my happiness. I want a fearless love, I won't settle for anything less."

Lyrid Meteor Shower

Did anyone catch the show last night? I got up about 3am to check it out. The moon was almost set so the sky was nearly dark. What a wondrous display of fireworks, like Nature's own beautiful umbrella formed by sparkles, twinkles and streaks. The water was calm and dark, and a couple times it seemed the shooting stars dived right toward the water. I leaned in close and held my breath, waiting to hear a "sizzle" but never heard a peep :)

As I watched the display, I thought about our ancestors who first saw the Lyrids around 687 B.C. I thought about what they must have said and thought and felt. Last night, I could almost hear their ooohs and ahhhs of them standing there with me. Last night, standing underneath the Heavens, I felt a part of something much bigger than myself. Hope you did too...

All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

For the past couple of weeks I've been doing some personal study. This tried and true favorite was speaking to me tonight...thought I'd share it to remind us all, that all we really needed to know we learned in kindergarten. Here's to staying connected to our inner child and loving her with kindness, patience and gentleness and LOTS of play!! :)

"Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

"These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.

"Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

"Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup ~ they all die. So do we.

"And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology and politics and sane living.

"Think of what a better world it would be if we all ~ the whole world ~ had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap.

"Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes.

"And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together."

~ by Robert Fulgham ~

20 Things You Should Never Apologize For (And Why)

1. Never apologize for being human. Once you do, you’re no longer human – you’re a cyborg.

2. Never apologize for saying how you feel. That’s like saying sorry for being real.

3. Never apologize for expressing yourself. That’s the full, free expression of your truth. Don’t ever say you’re sorry for that.

4. Never apologize for speaking your mind. Honesty makes people uncomfortable. Good! Comfortable people rarely take action.

5. Never apologize for telling the truth. You’re doing people a favor. Especially yourself. Lack of honesty is the single source of the entire world’s stress.

6. Never apologize for your boundaries. They are limits that promote integrity. And if you don’t set them for yourself, others will set them for you.

7. Never apologize for asking for what you need. The answer to every question you DON’T ask is always no.

8. Never apologize for passionately going for what you want. Stop kidding yourself about the things that you “need.” It’s all about what you WANT. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting.

9. Never apologize for looking out for yourself. Self-preservation is a primary driver of human behavior. It’s how we’re wired.

10. Never apologize for making a decision from the heart. Remember: It’s not THE truth – it’s YOUR truth.

11. Never apologize for asserting yourself. The word "assert" comes from the Latinasserere, which means, "to claim, maintain or affirm". And that’s exactly what you’re entitled to: Your opinion. Your belief. Your say. Let nobody take it away from you.

12. Never apologize for what’s important to you. If you do, then it’s probably not that important to you. And it certainly won’t be the important to anyone else!

13. Never apologize for asking questions. When you stop asking questions, you don’t just run out of answers – you run out of hope.

14. Never apologize for demanding respect. If you’ve demonstrated that you deserve respect by giving it to others first, you’re good to go.

15. Never apologize for being passionate. Unless you’re passionate about stabbing strangers with broken Coke bottles. Yikes!

16. Never apologize for getting something off your chest. That which you suppress will find a home in your body. And then it will trash the place. Sure, getting something off your chest may temporarily hurt someone’s feelings; however, NOT getting something off your chest is certain to harm your health, whether emotionally, mentally or physically. Think about it. Which is more important? Which is long-term? Which is more detrimental? Which is harder?

17. Never apologize for voicing a reasonable complaint. When everyone assumes somebody is going to say something, nobody says anything. It’s called diffusion of involvement, and it’s the murderer of the collective voice of man. Don’t feel bad for complaining.

18. Never apologize for your fundamental values. That’s who you are. At your core. Your personhood. Your foundation. That’d be like a cayenne paper saying sorry for being spicy. Not cool.

19. Never apologize for your inherent value. You worked very hard to establish it. Stand up, speak up and sell the hell out of yourself. People who see you are worth it will stick by your side. Those who don’t will take their currency elsewhere. It will be their loss, not yours!

20. Never apologize for giving it your best shot. Do the best you can with what you have at that moment. Just because you might be able to do better tomorrow, doesn’t mean that what you did today is total rubbish. This ties back into #1!

Rinse and repeat...