Out of the Comfort Zone

Over the past year, I've been going through my own personal growth and evolution, working on some core issues which involves unlearning old habits and relearning new ones. There never is a transition from one to the other without a learning curve and a struggle to let go of one in order to grasp the other.

I've nearly always associated that struggle to mean I was doing something wrong or I was outright failing.

Recently it hit me: If the only way to grow/change/heal/evolve is to step outside our comfort zone, then struggling and/or being uncomfortable is a sign of success, NOT of failure!

As Roz Savage so keenly observed during her solo rowing adventure across the Atlantic Ocean, "Stepping outside your comfort zone is supposed to feel uncomfortable because we’re in new and unfamiliar territory. Being uncomfortable is a sign of success, NOT of failure! So if we are uncomfortably outside our comfort zones, then than means we are growing!!! And THAT is cause for celebration!" (modified from a passage in Roz Savage's "Rowing the Atlantic").

As many people, I've been programmed to think that if I'm struggling, then I'm failing. Struggling is a sign I am exerting great effort and exercising new muscles, whether physically or emotionally or mentally.

Consider this: A caterpillar struggles against his self-created & self-imposed cocoon. Only by struggling does he gain the strength to become a butterfly. He NEEDS the time alone to create, to be, to grow. This creation is a delicate process hidden from view. We aren't privy to the mystery. Even further, we can't interfere, otherwise we will stunt or inhibit the butterfly's growth.

Likewise with the butterfly, we ought to treat our own (as well as each other's) growth process with patience and respect. After all: Life is a journey, not a destination!

It's hard to accept that struggle is good. It's hard not to swoop in and try to provide a buffer for the pain, our own as well as our loved ones.

Only by surrendering & not resisting, is there life. Only through struggle and pain is there birth -- ask every baby who's ever been born.

The key is not to focus on or be intimidated by the struggle. That brings suffering. In the words of May Sarton, "Without darkness, nothing comes to birth; as without light, nothing flowers". ~ Mary Sarton

Artist Andy Goldsworthy offers this poignant reminder, "The real work is the change".

Here's to joy in the journey and to adventures, wherever they may lead...