End of the world?

Will the world end on tomorrow as it's being hyped? No.

But for some people the world MAY end tomorrow: they may lose the gift of life or the presence of a loved one...they may lose a job, become homeless or bankrupt.

In small ways and large, earth-shattering events and life-altering experiences occur every single day. In this sense, the world does end. Every day.

Every day we are changed and are different from who we were the previous day. Sometimes we take a step backward or forward, being ever transformed by moments in our life. As we each journey onward toward destinations yet reached, remember to be kind to yourself and to one another. We all deserve love, strength, courage, empathy and compassion…for ourselves and others.

Show up for life. Dream your dreams. Shatter the illusions of fear and separation. Awaken to your ultimate self. Embrace the journey. Dive deeply into life. Appreciate each breath. Ask questions. Explore. Dance. Be. Create. Rest. Listen.

Before you know it, your world may end and you are catapulted into the next adventure…

Here's to adventures wherever they may lead!

Fear or not to fear (or grow or not to grow), that is the question!

It's been almost 2 months since I've been unemployed. That is enough to scare the crap out of anyone in today's job market! What I've been learning in these past 2 months is truly amazing. I'm learning how to tap into my full potential, to harness my fear, to go for those things that I thought were previously out of my reach. I'm also realizing that I may never have grown in these directions had I not lost my job (now that's a brain bender!). For a year prior to losing my job, I had been looking for another position; for too many reasons to enumerate, I wanted to find another opportunity.

Life, they say, is filled with a sense of irony and after I was terminated, it dawned on me how much I had been complacent in some areas of my life and dragging my feet towards a few goals. Sometimes we need motivation to kick it in gear! Shortly after this epiphany, I wrote/posted this quote on my Facebook page,"Being terminated without justifiable reason is the Universe's way of saying, 'It's time for you to go because there is a much better opportunity waiting for you!'".

I'm learning that when fear is standing in my way, there's something grand on the other side because it's opportunity for growth! As this recent quote is teaching me, "Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow." ~ Steve Pavlina

For me, my exercise in facing fear is about action, but not being attached to an outcome. In other words: learning to not take it personally if something doesn't work out. My sole responsibility is to show up, be prepared, do my best and put it in the bank, so to speak.

Last Monday, I blogged about experience with cold networking at 10 different IT providers in the area. My goal was three-fold:

1. Conquer my fears by generating courage to step out of my comfort zone and grow in an unknown area (cold networking).
2. Practice for job interviewing -- pitching my elevator speech, selling myself.
3. Create networking possibilities, opening doors, exploring the market fully. 

As it turns out, out of the 10 prospects, one of the companies called me the next day for an interview and interview #2 with the same company is scheduled for December 20th. If you don't ask, the answer is always no! Sometimes it's not only about finding opportunities, it's also about creating them!

Along the lines of converting fear into courage, tonight I watched this inspirational YouTube video about how to conquer fear in 30 seconds. Even more amazing is that I've been practicing these principles and didn't even know it :)

I love how Brian breaks down the theory and practice. Some quotes/excerpts from his video:

THEORY:

• There's a difference being fearless and being courageous.
• We ALL get afraid! Having fear is normal. 
• It's not about not being afraid, but what you do when you feel that fear.
• Feel the fear and do what needs to get done.
• Develop practices to push through the fear.
• Aristotle: the virtous mean -- too little courage is cowardice; too much courage is rashness.
• The word courage from French and Latin for "heart".
• Without courage you can't manifest your full potential.

PRACTICE:

1. Breathe.
• Deep breathing calms you.
2. Reverse your desire -- get excited about fear!
• Reversing your desire: Fear keeps us in our comfort zone. On the other side of fear is Infinite Possibility!
• When you start feeling fear, this is a great opportunity for growth!
• When you start feeling fear, know that Infinite Possibility exists on the other side!
• Our freedom exists on the other side of our fear.
• Realize that fear is not something intended to limit me.
3. Optimize your expectations.
• Optimize expectations -- go from negative to positive.
• If we fear, we expect things to go wrong.
• If we are excited, we expect things to go right.
• It's not about getting rid of our fear, it's about developing courage.
4. Go do it!
• When you feel fear, spend first 10 seconds breathing.
• The next 10 seconds, think of what can go wrong and RIGHT.
• The next 10 seconds, breathe in the excitement!

Quotes to inspire:

• "Fear is excitement without the breath." ~ Fritz Pearl

• "Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow." ~ Steve Pavlina

• "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." ~ Joseph Campbell

• "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." ~ Jack Canfield

• "The obstacle (fear) is the path." ~ Zen Proverb

• “Fear is a question: What are you afraid of and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them” ~ Marilyn Ferguson

• "The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity." ~ Amelia Earhart

• "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." ~ Nora Roberts 

• "He who asks is a fool for five minutes; but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." ~ Chinese Proverb

• "Decide you want it more than you are afraid of it." ~ Bill Cosby

• "Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." ~ Dale Carnegie

• "On the other side of every fear is freedom." ~ Marilyn Ferguson 

• "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing, which you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

• "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~ John Wayne

• "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." ~ Ambrose Redmoon

• "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." ~ Helen Keller

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Recently I read this anecdotal story on Facebook. I'm sharing here as food for thought:

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so difficult for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling because it seemed whenever one problem was solved, a new one arose. 

Quietly the mother led her daughter to the kitchen and filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. 

The mother let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. 

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" 

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied with a confused giggle. 

The mother brought her daughter closer and asked her to feel the carrots — when she did, she noted that they were soft.  

The mother then asked her daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.  

Finally, the mother asked her daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. 

The daughter then sighed and asked, "What's the point, mother?"  

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. 

But each of them reacted differently:

• The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting; however after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. 
• The egg had been fragile with a thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior; however, after sitting through the boiling water, the inside became hardened.
• The ground coffee beans were unique. After they were immersed in the boiling water, they changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" 

Which are YOU? How do YOU handle adversity?

• Like the carrot that seems strong, but with heat and adversity, wilts and becomes soft losing strength?
• Like the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but hardens with heat even though the outer shells looks the same?
• Or like the coffee bean, able to change the hot water, changing the very circumstance that brought adversity. When the water gets hot, the coffee bean releases the fragrance and flavor. When the hours are the darkest and trials are the greatest, able elevate to another level? When coffee beans are at their "worst", they get better and change the situation around them.  

Declaration of Independence in My Own Life

Today is July 4th, commemorating the Declaration of Independence by our founding fathers in 1776 in response to a tyrannical British king. The declaration alone did not achieve independence; it simply was a declaration, a line drawn in the sand with a cry of "ENOUGH!!!". The Declaration of Independence was a battle cry. After which The United States faced the hard and daunting task to FIGHT for freedom and liberty, paying dearly with pain, agony, blood and life. Seven years later, in 1783, the United States won the Revolutionary War and was granted Freedom and achieved Liberty.

As I reflect on this historical moment in time, I reflect also on declarations of independence in my own personal life. As I declare ENOUGH, I face the daunting task to fight through fear, habits and myths toward change, growth, freedom, healing and health. My battle doesn't END when I make a declaration (choice) to change my life; the declaration STARTS the battle! In my weak and dark moments when strength and resolve cause me to falter, I refer again to my declaration, my determination, my goal so that I am reminded of what I want in my life. My declaration is the picture of my goal. In those moments of weakness, when I may not "feel" like it, when I face fear, my declaration infuses me with courage and strength; my declaration is a reminder of that moment in time when I made a decision for a better life. So it is then, when I dig back in and fight onward toward my goal. The Declaration of Independence by the founding fathers is an inspiration reminding me that I may have to fight for years between my declaration and my acquisition of my goal. In short: Those who don't quit, don't fail! 

This reflection leads me to think about these words, how they are different and how do they manifest in my life:
Independence.
Freedom
Liberty.

I found this explanation on a blog which describes it quite well:

The Fourth of July is the day on which Americans commemorate their nation's independence, a word that implies the ability to stand alone, without being sustained by anything else.  

While independence is usually associated with countries or nations, freedom and liberty more often apply to people.  

But unlike freedom, which implies an absence of restraint or compulsion (the freedom to speak openly), liberty implies the power to choose among alternatives rather than merely being unrestrained (the liberty to select their own form of government). Freedom can also apply to many different types of oppressive influences (freedom from interruption; freedom to leave the room at any time), while liberty often connotes deliverance or release (he gave the slaves their liberty). 

Freedom and liberty are NOT the same thing. Freedom is devoid of responsibility ("nothing left to lose"?) and awareness for it's environment, people and society included.. 

"My freedom ends where yours begins" 

This maxim speaks directly of the true nature of what it means to live in a group (which connotes a society, which connotes all sorts of things like laws and politics.) If "freedom ends", then it is not by definition freedom, for freedom has no limits. If I accept that there is a self and an other, and that we have met, then it is with liberty that we must live together. I am free to kill you, but living in a group it goes further than mere freedom, for I have the liberty to choose to do so and suffer the responsibility such an act entails.

I wholeheartedly agree that freedom doesn't also mean having liberty. My dog has freedom to roam the yard (limited by the boundary I set for her roaming), but she doesn't have liberty to CHOOSE to roam across the road. Liberty in my own life allows me to choose how to live my life and incur the cost of consequence (bodily, mentally, spiritually or legally) of my choices.

I believe too many people in society want to be free (with boundaries set by the government, society or religion) because they don't want the responsibility of making their own choices and incurring the consequences. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility! For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry is own weight, this is a frightening prospect."

I seek Liberty in my life, in my relationships, in my world. Without the choice to live my life how I believe is best for me, without the choice to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, I have nothing. In the words of Patrick Henry, "Give me liberty or give me death!"


NOTE:

A week ago I finally kicked the soda habit! Last week was my "declaration of independence"...I am no longer a subject helping to build the empire of wealth for soda corporations.

Today, I am still fighting the battle to win my liberty in mind, body and health, but it's becoming easier with each passing day. Today's blog was on how I made the connection to the Declaration of Independence and making it personal in my life.

For a long time, I've been eating unprocessed foods...this was the last piece of my dietary food shift. My soda habit (or any other food) wasn't simply the consuming of it, but also buying, tasting and being associated with flavor/texture combinations. So being aware of all that has helped me break those little strands that make the whole habit. I've discovered I enjoy UNsweetened tea!! Zero calories!! I no longer feel the cravings, sugar-crashes, bloats, etc that I did before. Oh, and already, my pants are fitting better too :)

When we eat processed "foods" (I put food in quotes because processed food is not really food), we crave more processed "foods" because they don't provide the same nutrients as raw or unprocessed foods; they don't provide the nutrients the body needs, so the body craves more as it seeks body-healing nutrients. 
Several years ago, I put my cat on a "low fat" diet when she was spayed, but within 4 months time, she actually GAINED 3 pounds!! A friend of mine made the astute observation that my cat probably was eating more to compensate for lack of nutrients in her diet. I changed her diet back and lost weight.