Lessons From the Petoskey Stone

The other day as I was working on my beach clearing winter debris, I found a Petoskey Stone. So I picked it up, admired it's beautiful hexagonal pattern and put it in my pocket like I usually do, and then continued my work.

Then the thought hit me: this isn't JUST a stone, this is a TIME MACHINE! This stone is the fossilized coral remains of Hexagonaria Percarinata which, now extinct, existed 350 million years ago!!

Humbled and awed, I took the stone out of my pocket and sat down. I rolled the stone in my fingers thinking of the small animals who once lived in a coral colony in the water literally in front of my cottage. The only thing which remains of their life, is this pretty stone. The native Ojibwe tribe originally named this stone, "Petosegay", meaning "rising sun" or "rays of dawn".

It hit me, I mean REALLY hit me: In the best case scenario, we live only for 100 years and only about 70 years if we're average. Wrap your mind around the fact of how truly short of a period of time that is in relation to the rest of history......

[dramatic pause]

We are but a quick heartbeat, a short breath in relation to ALL of history. And yet, each of us has the capacity and ability to live as though the WHOLE WORLD was created JUST for us!!

The question is: What are WE going to leave behind as "proof" that we were ever here?

The small creatures which once resided in this ancient coral colony did not have self-awareness. The only thing they could leave behind is "recycled" calcium and other minerals from their environment. They created their home from materials around them. As time went by, former marine animals died, and others were born and lived out their lives on the calcium carbonate remains of their ancestors. Eventually, these homes were frozen in time immemorial.

Unlike the Petoskey Stone, we do have self-awareness.

Self-awareness is both a blessing and a curse because it brings with it freedom. And with freedom is responsibility. And with responsibility, there is fear.

Are we going to focus our time on things like bank accounts, careers, houses, etc?

Or are we going to focus our time on things like relationships (with others as well as our self), love, spirituality, connection etc?

One path is material.

One is immaterial.

One path is limited by resource.

The other path is limitless.

The choice is ours how we want to live.

I'm keeping the Petoskey Stone in my pocket for a while to remind me of which path I choose.

The Voyage of a Hundred Tacks

Looking out my window, the beautiful Northern Michigan spring reminds me of change. Change. The simple word conjures many thoughts and images. Seasons change and so does life. Both remind me to prepare and encourage me to adapt.

How do I prepare and adapt? How do I know which direction to go in order to reach my goals?

A little over a year ago, after I was laid off from a very stressful job. The reality of being unemployed in today’s economy threatened to bury me under the weight of financial and emotional debris. Instead of sinking, I took the opportunity to assess where I wanted to be in 5 years or 10.

When I first moved to Traverse City almost two years ago, I was unemployed living out of my tent and having a blast kayaking and camping and gloriously living life as it came at me. I moved here not for a job or a relationship. I moved here because I wanted a change of scenery. I wanted to explore some place different for the sake of discovering more about myself.

Today, I’m actively and wonderfully engaged with a dynamic and wonderful company, surrounded by like-minded talented individuals who have a passion to make a difference.

What is my point?

My point is this: We have to be willing to explore options, be ready to adapt and be willing to change course at a moment’s notice. If we don't we can become lost or shipwrecked.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, "The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks". We can stay the course in familiar waters, or we can embark in new directions to seek new horizons. The voyage is not always the straightest course, but the destination is always reached if we are diligent and flexible.

Discovering what works or doesn't work and developing new ways of thinking, allows me to reach my destinations successfully. Thinking outside the box, being willing to try new things, considering different possibilities, brainstorming — all are tacks allowing me to move ever forward toward the direction of my dreams!

Love is Real: Lesson from The Velveteen Rabbit

"What is REAL?" the Velveteen Rabbit asked the Skin Horse one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit .

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. But once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Taking the example from The Velveteen Rabbit: Being Real sometimes hurts. The alternative to being real, however, is unimaginable.

Being Loved sometimes hurts. Although we do our utmost not to deliberately hurt the ones we love, the truth is, we inadvertently hurt the ones we love (and they hurt us), because our hearts are exposed the most to one another. What greater way is there to communicate and to exist, than to live wide openly and authentically Real with one another?

• I'm not afraid of being in imperfect shape...for that means I'm not left on the shelf, untouched and unharmed.

• I'm not afraid of my ears being lopsided and my eyes drooping by affectionate touches.

• I'm not afraid of the seams of my edges fraying from so much caressing.

• I'm not afraid of going bald because I was rubbed too vigorously (take that ANY way you want!).

• I'm not afraid of my stuffing being enthusiastically squeezed out of me.

• I want to endure all that Love is for the sake of being Real...the good days and bad.

• I want to expose my sunshine as well as my darkness.

• I want to express joy and as well as sorrow, courage and fear, peace and anxiety.

• I want to be challenged when I'm wrong, encouraged when I'm scared and lovingly laughed at when I'm being ridiculous.

• I want to be comforted and played with.

• I want to be cherished and treasured.

• I want to be needed and wanted and liked and loved.

• I want to be seen, heard, felt and tasted.

• I want to experience the full spectrum of Love, the entire meaning of what it means to be Real.

• I always want the kind of love that makes me Real...

• I want to be Real...

In the words of Melissa Etheridge, "I want to live my life pursuing all my happiness. I want a fearless love, I won't settle for anything less."